As most of you know I have a huge decision to make..
With 4 years left of support from Lånekassen, it is important that I make the right one this time.
Yes I am of course taking about studies….and I’m sorry if you’re sick of hearing about it..
it’s just very important to me to make the right decision..
I thought I wanted physiotherapy, but the more I think about it, the less I see it as the right thing for me..
But I haven’t applied for neither nursing or nursery teaching anywhere I’d want to go either.. even if they’re on my list. So I might just try physio, maybe.. if my head can stop asking my heart if it is the right thing all the time.
The next question is where? I’m not really that scared of going alone, I’ve moved to Mosjøen on my own and then in 2008 I moved to Wolverhampton with only my own company.. Still the thought of settling in Trondheim or Oslo scares me.. Both places I will have people I know that I can probably hang out with once in a while, but I’m still on my own, just me… I’m so used to having good friends around me now, even when we don’t hang out they’re still there.. it worries me that the big cities will be too big for little me, who doesn’t even know how to be a norwegian anymore..
I’m also dreading thursday, because My girl is going back to England again then with her boy, and I probably won’t get to see her again till September… what am I going to do this summer without her? And how do I get rid of this longing for England? I wouldn’t be able to afford living and staying in England, sure I’ll earn a nice amount this summer, but it won’t be enough, and I couldn’t find a job in 4 months before the summer, it won’t be any easier after as everyone in my year have then graduated…
And how on earth can I possibly make a decision and feel like it is the right one for me?
now this has become another rant, sorry, but I haven’t written in my diary for a week, it’s difficult to bottle up these thoughts for so long without getting it out somewhere….and since this is my blog i suppose i’m allowed to write whatever I want, it is up to you guys if you read it or not.. but i understand if it doesn’t interest you at all..