Since you all kinda said you’d like to read some of my stuff, I’ve chosen this short story for my first post. It’s not very clear in it’s meaning, but that is the point really.
I wrote it to a friend of mine when she was going through a really rough time, but she really inspired me to write again after having had a long break.
I don’t know what else to say really, except I hope it is not too long and I hope you like it:)
Have you ever experienced a moment where you thought you were about to die? Thinking to yourself that you want to make the most of that glimpse of sunlight, cause it might be the last time you get to see something so beautiful as the bright sun in the sky on a gorgeous summer day? You look at your friends and feel like you can see straight into their soul. It is so vivid and alive that you can almost touch it, stroke it and say those words of comfort that is needed. Thinking that today can only be so perfect because it is your time and everyone should experience such beauty that can exist in the world.
Not even all those though, cold and ugly thoughts can ruin the warmth you feel when you truly appreciate what has been granted you. If it from above or not is not really my place to tell, it is based upon individual experience.
I feel like I am being told to hold on to this moment and long for another day like this,
not to let this cold dark space conquer me and force me to admit defeat.
Here I am sat on the pier watching the sunlights reflection on the still calm waters before me. It is almost as inviting as the smell of barbeque coming from the small group of people gathered on the beach. Do they know beautiful the vision of their laughter and freedom is to me?
This feeling stirring inside me is almost overwhelming, this is the happiest I have ever been.
Everything will be okay somehow, Time heals all wounds isn’t that what they say?
Mine are still wide open, a fresh breeze sends a wave of shivers down my spine, almost like it is trying to intrude my thoughts. That is followed by the warmth of the sun, yet again wrapping me in it’s shielding cape. My pale skin must be blinding anyone brave enough to look at me, but it doesn’t matter cause once again I am content with my path.
I am coming back here, maybe not tomorrow but sometime soon. Alone, determined, unafraid.
He is looking at me now, I must be a strange sight. A young girl of barely 16, with no outlook on life, lost in an ocean of thoughts only leading her one place. The exact place I am sat, observing my friends enjoy all the things I am gonna miss.
I don’t want to keep fighting a battle I might loose, I’d rather see this beauty and then leave it all behind.
I am done thinking it is not fair anymore, because it never will be it was just the way it was planned.
I look back at him, his blonde hair is ruffled by the wind as he has stopped his chase for the ball and let the others keep up the game he was previously so occupied by.
Our gaze is piercing, like he is trying to read me, yet he is struggling to interpret the mysterious spark in my eyes.
I hold my breath as he balance across the rocks heading directly for me.
Intruding my safe space, my private escape, but the strange thing is that I don’t mind.
“Josh, be careful,” I gasp as he almost fall over, heading for a dive into the chilly pool of crystals below the pier. He regains his balance and within the next few minutes he is perched down next to me, looking out towards the sea. “It’s beautiful,” without warning he takes my hand and squeezes it, and I am holding my breath. “So are you Marte,” he looks at me now.
It is so strange that up to that very moment the thought that kept me calm was the vision of the surface disappearing above me, the sparkle of the moonlight growing distant as I sink into the only place I have convinced myself would feel like home. Yet now when he looks at me I long for him to tell me that again.
“It might be bad timing to tell you now, with everything going on, but I wanna help you fight through, I wanna be there on the other side of this.” as he speak I feel like I get lost in his voice, the beauty of it, the words he’s uttering for my ears only.
“When you told me you were.. well.. you know.., this is where I came every single night. Because it felt safe, inviting. I tried imagining my life without you, and the more I saw that future the more I wanted to dive into that blackness below and never resurface.” He never broke the intense gaze we were still sharing.
“Marte, I love you, and I’m not ready to give you up,”
I felt like I was going into shock, and it must’ve showed on my face as he cupped my face in his strong soft hands, forcing me to keep looking into his eyes.
Someone loved me so much they could not imagine a life without me, someone whose life I treasured more than anything in this world.
Yes I had been in love with Josh since the day I first saw him, when he moved in a few houses down from mine all those years ago.
Now when I had my mind set on the freedom only the ocean could give me, from this jail I had been placed in by this cruel illness, he loves me back.
Why was he telling me now? When all hope was gone and the day was perfect.
“I love you,” he whispers against my lips, before his briefly touches mine and lingers there. How can I give up when the love of my life depends on me?
He will never know what those three words so beautifully uttered from his mouth changed the future and on the most beautiful day of my life too.
We sit together, his arms around me watching the sunset and I know I will be here to see it rise again.