I am so angry with myself for always ending up right where I am now.
A few days from deadline, no work done, clueless on how to solve it and unable to force myself to do it.
I must be the worst student in the history of uni,
I used to be good at this, I just to do good, now.. i’m just rubbish, and it’s my own fault
I’m in my final year for christ sake, i need to pull myself together or else i’ll end up jobless with a completely worthless bachelor, even if i probably would end up like that anyway..
I’m too busy having fun and enjoying life, too busy spending money i don’t have, too busy being stupid and delaying everything making myself majorly depressed around hand in time.
And now I can’t even get one on one’s with my lecturers, because they don’t have anymore office hours this week and it is due on monday.
at least one is only 700 words so it should not be impossible, and the 2nd one i want to try the creative one, however the critical part will be really hard as there are no available sources on either writer anywhere to be found, the ones i have put down reservations for has not been returned and i am so screwed I feel lik just crying myself to sleep in my bed, because sleep is something I need after over a week with only a few hours. this whole sleep thing is making me all whoosy, if that’s even a word, if not then it is now because i just made it.
sleep will be good,
in fact it will be very good,
just a long sleep, no dreams, no thought, no worries, nothing nothing nothing..
I’ve decided, that tomorrow i will work till I get to uni, have a quick break to meet up with Hannah, because I haven’t seen her since December, then back to work all day, ALL DAY, then Friday i am getting up as early as i can working working working till 5pm, then get ready for party, party party..
come home and sleep, and be decent enough to work on sat and work till we have to leave for birmingham, which would be 3-4pm i reckon, then on sunday i will not leave my room untill both assignments are done, well except to pee and maybe grab a bite to eat if necessary..
And Renate, it is your job to make sure i stick with this..
so i apologize if I am not online much the next few days, i need to focus, like proper focus.
I am also gonna make a plan for easter to make sure I get loads of work on my dissertation done
Now i am just mentally slapping myself for being such a horrible student before sitting down to read the last few chapters of catcher in the rye and then i’m gonna sleep..
thanks for reading this rant, which means you wasted a precious few minutes on your life on reading how stupid i am. i apologize